Archive for ◊ March, 2007 ◊
• Friday, March 30th, 2007
In about an hour, Erich and I are heading up to Maine for the first time since his mom’s death. We’re spending the weekend doing some intial inventory of her belongings to give to the lawyer Erich’s hired to help with her estate, sorting papers as best we can, and whatever else we actually can cram into a normal-length weekend.
Everything just feels… odd.
For the most part, life has been going about as normal for the past two weeks. Erich seems to be doing okay with everything. I’ll go for a day or so, and then suddenly remember she’s gone (and then feel guilty for forgetting). It still doesn’t seem real. I imagine that’s going to change around nine tonight when we get to Maine…
I’ve been asked by a few people this week how I’m doing, how Erich’s doing, etc. I reply “He seems to be doing fine…” to the second question. We haven’t talked much about how he’s doing, but that’s mostly because Erich (like me) tends to be a bit private about his feelings, especially when he’s working through something. To the first, it tends to be mixed. The most accurate answer is “I’m not sure.” I’ve been on a bit of an emotional wave lately, and it really depends on the exact moment I get asked.
I feel clumsy and awkward about it all, yet at the same time I seem to be having an easy time accepting death… and I’m honestly not sure whether that’s a good thing or not.
Category: Family & Friends, Life, Work, and all the Rest
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• Thursday, March 29th, 2007
As I’ve requested folks take my RSS feed off their lists due to Measi-caused spammage, I’m doing a blog update.
Today’s entry is a Thursday Thirteen– my must-not-miss TV shows, new and old.
And why yes… Doctor Who is on there. Why would you ask? 
http://www.measi.net/blog/
Category: Memes
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• Thursday, March 29th, 2007
The new series of Doctor Who is starting this weekend over in the U.K., and I’ve been jealously drooling over all of the little snippets of promotion that I can find between fandom sites.
The full trailer posted today on YouTube just made my little geek!girl heart go aflutter.
Damn being in the U.S. *sigh*
In any case, in celebration of my geekitude, here’s my list of must-not-miss TV shows (both new and old), both geek-related and not.
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1. X-Files: I started watching the X-Files during its 2nd season (but quickly caught up on all of the back episodes through the alt.tv.x-files group and lots of VHS tape trading). My father introduced me to the show while I was home on Christmas break. If I recall, the first episodes I saw were Scully’s abduction episodes (which equalled instant addition… seriously… so good). I watched the series religiously all the way to the end of the run. Friends knew that they were not to call me during that hour. For the series finale, I even disconnected my phone to keep from being interrupted. 2. Star Trek: The Next Generation: My first real geek fandom. This came onto the TV the year my parents separated, and it honestly was my weekly escape from all of the family drama that was unfolding. I never really connected with the original series. I enjoyed DS9, but it wound up conflicting with my class schedule in college (so I fell out of watching it). I never was interested in Voyager or Enterprise, either. I’m a TNG Trekker. And still watch it occasionally on G4 now that they’ve cleaned up some of the episodes. But oh, how poorly they’ve aged… 3. Doctor Who: One of the two current addictions, and definitely the more “she’s crazy” addiction. Erich has watched the new series since it first aired in the States last summer. I casually watched it with him on occasion, but didn’t get hooked until I saw the last episode (Doomsday) of the second season shortly before this past Christmas. And, both to my glee and annoyance, it was a full onset of geekdom addiction that I hadn’t experienced since the X-Files went off the air (I guess I was in need of something to preoccupy my time). It’s not that I didn’t know about Who before the new series, either– it’s been around since 1963. Even during its hiatus during the 1990s, I remember seeing Sylvester McCoy and Paul McGann in all of the sci-fi fandom mags that I’d pick up (for TNG and XF info). And during my childhood, I recall seeing a few of the original series episodes on PBS. I’ll partially blame the addiction on David Tennant and Christopher Eccleston, though. *swoon* But now I’m trying to find and catch up on any of the original series episodes that I can for backstory… I’m currently working through the batch of 1970′s Who on my iPod. And I’m really excited for the next season – which starts Saturday in the U.K., but won’t be on here until the summer. Arrrrgh! 4. Heroes: The other current addiction. I’m amazed at how well this show is written and produced. I love how all of the character storylines intersect and are interwoven. There are a few storylines that bore me a bit, but that happens with any show. Having Christopher Eccleston show up here was wonderful (and brought the quality up another notch, I think). It’s arguably the best show on network TV right now- and allows the masses to enjoy geekdom comfortably. 5. Firefly: This is mostly Erich’s addiction, but I’ve enjoyed the ride along with him. Great writing, interesting characters — but sadly it was broadcast on FOX, which means it (like so many shows that don’t have “when ____ attack” in the title) was doomed to be axed before its time. It didn’t help that it was broadcast completely out of order, either, nor that it was a pretty specific tuned-to-geekdom show. FOX screwed up. Somehow a movie (Serenity) was made through outcry of the fans, and it spurred a mini cult phenomenon. 6. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I was among the many who gaped when they saw that a TV show of that god-awful movie from the early 90s was being made. I mean, seriously– WHY?!? But then one of my friends commented that it was surprisingly really good. And then another one did. And I, being the X-Phile extraordinare, laughed at them. And then they sat me down and forced me to watch it. And yeah… okay. It was very good. Completely cheesy at times. But very, very good. And I’m enjoying the 8th season, being “broadcast” through comics. 7. Red Dwarf: I watched this starting in junior high with my boyfriend at the time. It was on PBS pretty late at night, if I recall, as part of a British TV block (which also featured the Young Ones and Doctor Who). It was very silly, but between the geekiness, the jokes, and it being British (which was so underground in Montana), it became a little cult following. And Erich’s a Red Dwarf fan as well… so I’ve now caught up on any episode I missed through his collection. 8. The Cosby Show: Did anyone who grew up in the 80s not watch this? It was one of the few shows my family watched together. We laughed with the Huxtables. We talked about some of the topics that came up that actually were good topics to think about. And I found a little thrill in watching the TV kids who grew up with a dad who was an OB/GYN… because I could relate very closely to that. On the occasions since my childhood thatI’ve heard Ray Charles’ “Night Time Is the Right Time,” it immediately makes me think of the family lip-sync serenade. 9. Moonlighting: This was our mother-daughter bonding show. My mom and I watched it together every week. Would David and Maddie finally get together? How many fights can one couple have- that made anyone watching them just laugh. Alas, when they did finally get together, that spark that made the show so much fun to watch seemed to wane off. *sigh* 10. Law & Order: While probably not a die-hard addiction (and I actually don’t watch the current run), I love watching the reruns of this show. And I have absolutely no idea why– it must just be the thrill of a crime mystery. I can’t get into Criminal Intent, but I also enjoy Special Victims Unit reruns. 11. Project Runway: I’m not into fashion. I definitely don’t have a body type that fashion designers embrace in any way, shape or form. Yet somehow, I’m just addicted to this show every year. I think it’s simply watching how creativity works in other people- dealing with time constraints, coming up with ideas, and watching people dive into the profession they love. And Tim Gunn is love, of course. This is, by the way, the only competitive Reality TV show I watch. 12. The Mole: Celebrity Edition: Erich and I watched this religiously while it was on. I think it was mostly to watch Corbin Bensen and Stephen Baldwin act like idiots. But it was very funny. And oddly engrossing. Erich was far better than me at figuring out who was the Mole, though. 13. MXC: Another Erich & Mel TV show time. It’s waned a bit lately, but we used to watch the what… four hours of it on Thursday nights on Spike? Japanese competitive TV is insane. Who comes up with this stuff? It’s painful to watch and utterly stupid– but it just keeps. pulling. you. in. Next stop: Ninja Warrior (which is insane, too). Links to other Thursday Thirteens! |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
Category: Geeky Stuff, Memes, Thursday 13
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• Friday, March 23rd, 2007
It’s spring, which means I’m in the mood to get some stuff done around the house to make myself – at least temporarily – feel like I’m more in control of my life than I actually am.
So over the next month, I have thirteen things that I want to get done– and can accomplish easily (as long as I don’t procrastinate too long).
They make up this week’s Thursday Thirteen… a day late.
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1. Finish all straggling laundry and put it all away where it’s supposed to go. 2. Complete three chapters of my fanfic story (all outlined & drafted… just needs a bit of fleshing out and edits). 3. Complete my Floral RR piece (this weekend). 4. Complete my UFO RR piece (by April 9th). 5. Book DJ for wedding. 6. Contact all people we want to be in our wedding party. 7. File taxes 8. Reclaim kitchen cabinets from their disaster look and get everything put away. 9. Get Colley groomed. 10. Make appointment for bra fitting for wedding dress. 11. Organize office. 12. Go through clothes – donate & toss out what needs to leave 13. Back-up webpages & computer files. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
Category: Memes, Thursday 13
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• Tuesday, March 20th, 2007
Erich’s been busy the last week with arrangements and handling his mother’s expenses and such- it’s been a weird, busy week for him. Calling for mortuary arrangements, calling our lawyer to get the process rolling on her estate. But overall, he’s doing… okay. Better than I would expect honestly. I suppose I’ve been holding my breath for him to break down or something.
I know, I know… guys don’t work like that.
In any case, part of me feels like it’s wrong trying to just carry on with life as if nothing happened. It’s not like it really is that way, of course. But sometimes it feels that way.
In any case, no specific date is set for her memorial service. Erich made arrangements for Debby’s body to be cremated. We’ll have a small service to spread half of her ashes in Maine, and the other half will be interred in the family plot in Massachusetts. But no dates at this point- I imagine it’ll be sometime this spring.
Writing out my Save the Date cards in the middle of this was honestly disturbing. It just felt completely wrong. But they had to be done… because we’re now rolling in on six months away. I did them out of guilt and a desire to shut my mother up more than anything.
I know my regular readers will find no surprise in this statement- but any ounce of enjoyment/excitement that I might have had about planning my wedding (read=little) is permanently gone. It’s going through the motions at this point. Debby’s death is just the final mark of pain in this whole process for me to finally call it quits on the emotional front. Yes, I’m planning it. I’m quite sure I’ll enjoy my wedding day, albeit with a bittersweet note. But no, the process leading up it is just going through motions now. Partially because with every ounce of excitement I’d show, it would get smacked down by a fight, or a frustration, or… death. It’s all about meeting expectations of family members, and really not about the couple getting married. I’d laugh bitterly at anyone who says otherwise, based upon what I’ve experienced in two years.
September 23rd can’t come fast enough so it’s done with. I want to move on with our normal lives, enjoying the growth that comes through being a married couple legally… not just emotionally as we are now. Melinda said it best in an email recently to me (in not these exact words, of course)… that we were married emotionally when the engagement ring went on my finger in that blizzard two years ago.
And the irony is, my relationship with Erich is fantastic through all of this. If anything, I’d say it’s getting better. Without going into too many details, sexual frustrations that have plagued our relationship (our one huge problem– and it was my problem) for the better part of our relationship are going away on their own– apparently stress at my old job was a HUGE part of those issues.
Yeah… my brain’s a little cluttered these days. *sigh*
Category: Family & Friends, Life, Work, and all the Rest, Wedding
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• Sunday, March 11th, 2007
Erich’s mom passed away on Friday afternoon. It hasn’t really hit him yet, but his coping mechanisms are firmly in place. He’s admitted that it’s so huge that his brain just can’t comprehend it. We’re waiting for the results of an autopsy – Erich needs it for his own piece of mind – and then the formal arrangements will be made. Erich’s current line of thinking is to have her cremated, and then spread half of her ashes into the sea in Maine, and bring the other half to be interred in the family plot in Hopedale, Mass.
Thankfully, the Providence crew contingent has been wonderful this weekend. Jason & Jen hosted a gathering on Friday night so Erich could be surrounded by everyone (since he has only a very small and scattered family, his friends are honestly his closest family in many ways). We played poker late into the night, the guys did some drinking (I stayed sober to get him home, of course), and just were there for him.
Yesterday, an already planned Dungeons & Dragons game was moved over to our house. And again, I think the community helped Erich a lot. They played from about 1 p.m. until 4:30 in the morning. I milled about a bit, going out to do some craft shopping with Teresa, baking cookies (because baking does actually make me feel better), and just taking a breather for a while to collect my own thoughts.
Everyone’s been wonderful. It’s times like this that you truly realize how strong friendships are a blessing. And how fleeting and precious life truly is.
Category: Family & Friends, Life, Work, and all the Rest
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• Friday, March 09th, 2007
In light of current family events, I’m needing to distract myself in downtime at work. Thankfully, folks on my friend’s list have just what I need.
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate!
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Questions from blanhe2
1) How did you get into gaming?
I first was introduced to gaming in college. During my sophomore or junior year (I lean toward the latter), a floor mate of mine (Jason, who is a frequent person in my journal entries) invited me to hang out with the guys in one of the dormitories for a night. They were playing Dungeons & Dragons – 2nd edition, as the most recent versions were not out yet. I played a druid, and was so confused (and soon after, rather bored) that I fell asleep during the game.
I might add here – falling asleep during games is something that tends to happen come 1 a.m. for me, even now. It annoys me, but everyone seems to be used to it.
A few weeks later, one of the other guys decided to try a new game that that had just come out called Deadlands. Think classic American Wild West meets Lovecraft meets 28 Days Later. I fell into a law character immediately and was hooked. 
The rest was history. These days, our games are about 99% Dungeons & Dragons 3.5 edition.
2) What would your dream job be?
Ideally, I’d love to be able to write full time & support myself on my imagination. I’d love the classic “writer by the lake” lifestyle, just locking myself away in a cozy office all day writing.
3) If money was no object, where would you live and what would your house look like?
I’d live in the San Francisco area – I loved visiting my mom when she lived there. The weather’s perfect, and I just love the atmosphere of Northern California. For the house – a huge Victorian house with all of the cute Queen Anne trimmings, plus an English style garden. Veranda required, as I want to be able to relax on the front porch and watch the world go by.
This would, of course, include people who would take care of all of that for me.
4) Which is your all time favourite cross stitch project?
The Castle. It’s my largest finished project to date. I stitched on it off-and-on for ten years, so it’s seen a lot of history. I can tell you what I was doing in my life at the time I stitched different sections of the piece. Lots of emotions were stitched into the fabric, and just looking at it brings back a ton of memories.
5) What is your favourite season of the year?
Autumn – I love the cold, crisp mornings that just make me feel energized. The three weeks or so in late September – mid October when the leaves are turning are my favorite. The colors here in New England are beautiful, and every year I find myself staring at them in amazement.
Category: Memes
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