Those who’d like to participate in Five Minute Friday will write for five minutes on the topic of the week, post it on their own blog and link up the post here. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.
This week’s prompt is: DEAR
When life throws a bunch of corkscrews at you, sometimes the only way to cope is to cling onto the things you hold dear and wait for it all to blow over. Those loved things, those dear loved things, become the focus point holding everything in a perceived balance.
The unwritten fear, of course, is that those items have the possibility of breaking, too. Whether the focus is an object, a person, a place – something can always happen. The things we hold dear aren’t indestructible, after all. Everything can be broken, even the things that seem the most solid.
I keep coming back to reflection this year – what could I have done better, how could I have coped better. And the largest question is – why didn’t my foundation hold?
The thing I held most dear, to get myself through this year, was my own mental state. I’ve weathered my parents’ divorce, I’ve weathered abusive relationships, I’ve weathered the trials and tribulations of pregnancy and childbirth. Through all of them, my foundation was the knowledge that I’d gotten through it before. I’ll get through it again.
Only each of those previous events took a little chip out, and then another little chip out… and the hairline fractures started.
So as coping with deaths happened this year, the fractures were just a bit too much to keep my inner strength – the thing I hold dear – from crumbling. I’ve tried to put on a good show this year. I’ve even had some great days, but I’ve ridden through a lot more lows than highs.
Now I’m just sitting with the mental superglue and trying to get these fractures strengthened up and repair my mental strength. I know it’s still there. It just needs a little TLC, like any other thing I hold dear.