This week’s prompt is: OPEN
One of the most difficult parts about personal blogging is the constant battle to decide just how open I should be. I’m never dishonest. I say how I feel, what I feel. But there are times where I feel it’s too raw to be that open, that vulnerable. And there are times where I feel it’s inappropriate. Or even harmful.
Years ago, blogging wasn’t quite as visible as it is now. It wasn’t exactly the “make money on the side” venture that many folks have turned it into, either.
In many ways, I think those of us who blog for personal reasons are at a slight disadvantage. We write from a completely personal viewpoint. Our blogs are about ourselves.
So how open do we need to be to be successful?
As much as I’ll say I don’t really care whether or not I get comments… well, most of the time I’m excited when I don’t, perhaps a little bummed when I don’t… but really, what I’m worried about are those negative comments. I’ll write up an entry that’s honest and about something that’s deeply important to me, or something that’s deeply intimate about me…
And that one negative comment sends me crawling back into a safety hole.
That’s the danger of blogging. It’s also an important part of it. Being open, accepting that actions do have consequences. If I’m willing to share it, I need to put on the big girl panties and accept what comes in return for my words.
My life has been a series of actions where I fear the consequences, so I say nothing, or I do nothing. I get so afraid of the consequences, I don’t even get to the point where there might be consequences.
For the past several weeks, I’ve participated in a snail mail exchange via Five Minute Friday, sharing joy and blessings with other women. As far as I know, I’m the only Pagan among them. I get a lot of cards with Bible verses in response. I did get witnessed and begged to change my faith in one.
I’ve never written a blessing from my own beliefs in return. Why? Because I don’t feel open enough to do so. I’m so afraid that these women would reject the blessings from another faith that I don’t speak up.
Why do I do this? Why do I stay quiet? I have strength in my beliefs, in the centering that they give me. Is it because I know my beliefs are only mine, and that I have no right to push them on another person? Would giving blessings be such an act?
Why does the concept of being open about faith scare me so much? And why am I so bothered by others expressing theirs sometimes?