Measi's Musings

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

I’m okay– just going through bouts of insanity and then resulting apathy toward anything. Meh.

I mentioned my exhaustion to Erich last night, and he agreed that it’s just been such a wild couple months that it’s catching up to both of us. I’ve noticed myself being a lot more testy lately with everyone. A lot of it is because I’m on an autopilot schedule whenever I can take advantage of a mental break, and woe to anyone who decides to interrupt that routine.

I don’t mean to, though. *sigh*

I forsee a couple days of solid sleeping/lounging once we’re at the house next month.

ohmygodwemoveinnextmonth

So very strange. It’s such a different preparation than an apartment move. And contrary to my mom’s belief that I hate change, I really don’t feel it this time. I feel excitement. I’m a bit afraid about the enormous responsibility, but it’s far overpowered by the desire to get in there and make the next step forward in my life.

On completely unrelated house stuff- Erich found out from Anna (who sold us the house) that we have a mated pair of cardinals living in the yard. So a bird feeder and bird seed are now added to this summer’s list of stuff to buy at the gardening shop. We went by Home Depot on Sunday, after helping get my old bed over to her new space in an off-campus apartment. That was a win-win situation– she needed a bed. We needed to figure out where the hell we were going to store it, since Jason hadn’t taken it with him.

One big thing done. Everything else in storage can be taken down via Jeep and car to the house and put in the basement (and cut back our movers fees).

Anyway… back to Home Depot. I wanted to go there to price vanity tops and sinks, since we’re going to have to replace the bathroom sink fairly quickly. The bowl is cracked and just starting to leak. Might as well take care of that right away and get it over with as one of our personal projects. We found a few styles that were very nice, just to give us ideas. We looked around for replacement doors for the garage, but missed the weather-protected doors that weren’t designed for front door use… so we still need to find that.

And before we left, we took a walk through the garden section, just to see what was there. Lots of little trees that were relatively inexpensive. Both of us loved the Japanese Maples– they had different varieties with green and red leaves. I priced some lilacs, since getting some pretty bushes to hide our neighbor’s chain link fence is one of my top yard-related priorities. We relaxed for a while on a covered garden swing (which I have to admit is very tempting…). And we got some ideas. The yard, granted, isn’t really on the top of the list. Other than reseeding the grass and perhaps starting said lilacs along the back, I don’t see us doing a lot with the yard this first year. We need to see what’s growing in the yard, first.

Like, for example, the large patch of Lily of the Valley that’s along the front and Florida room wall. I definitely don’t want to tear those up, and my mom was thrilled when she saw those, given that it’s her birth flower.

So much to do… so many new daydreams to indulge in…

I’m loving this. I really am.

So after Home Depot, we headed home. I saw a large white swan in the lake next to the Home Depot, surrounded by a cluster of Canadian Geese. They were fairly far off from my sight, though, so I don’t know if it’s the male or female. I’m scared shitless of swans, having some bad encounters with them at my mom’s in California, so I’d be keeping my distance anyway. On the way home, we saw a mated pair of Canadian Geese (they’re everywhere) with six little goslings waddling behind. Hopefully they’ll survive, however– the parents picked a hell of a shitty spot to nest– in the grassy ring in the center of the highway cloverleaf. Erich nearly hit them as they were trying to cross the highway on-ramp to another unpaved section that contained a runoff-formed pond.

Off to another crazy day at the other place I’m moving. Hopefully I can get my normal work under control so I can focus on purging paper for the rest of the week here at the office…

Because coordinating two moves and being the webmaster for JournalCon isn’t enough on my plate right now… heh…

Mom’s visit this past weekend opened up some issues and discussion on the wedding… and I have things that need to be done sooner than later.

The first being a quick speed-up of organizing MY side of the wedding party.
The second being that we’ll have to get the basic reservations done sooner than my original thought of mid-August, and probably starting that in late June before we even have the house up and running completely.

Quick backstory– in early March, Erich and I went to Pennsylvania to attend my grandpa’s 80′s birthday party.. On the day we were leaving, Mom had everyone over for brunch, and I decided to pull Marya, my 9-year-old (going on 18) cousin, aside for a moment to ask her whether she’d be more comfortable as a flower girl or a bridesmaid.

I asked this because two of her sisters are going to play the roles of flower girls, and Marya’s so tiny that even at her age, she could fit in the same category. But mentally, I know that Marya tends to want to be a bit more grown up– I wanted to leave it up to her, and then I could tell Erich how many women/girls were on my side, so he could think of who he wanted to stand with him.

Said question was asked very close to when we left PA. I don’t recall if my cousin Katie was even THERE that day. But we were in the eat-and-get-going rush, and I didn’t mention anything to Katie at that time, since I didn’t have the wedding party pinned down.

But I KNEW where I wanted her to stand (and probably so do my readers by now).

Remember– this is early March.

Fast forward two weeks later – a house gets thrown unexpectedly in the picture and takes over all wedding plans completely, putting them on hold and literally in the back of my mind.

Okay… now that the backstory is in place…

Erich, Mom and I are on our way to Sears on Sunday to look at appliances. Mom’s very worried about the condition of the stove in the house because Anna (who sold us the house) mentioned she was having trouble with the oven knob. And unlike Erich and I, Mom can’t live with the rather dated avacado fridge and stove that are in the house… so she wants to go appliance hunting, and has talked to my dad, who also responded “ew.” to the color, and they’re going halvsies on this.

(*shrug* sure… because we’re going to be stupid enough to complain or say no in this situation)

Mom mentions that my Aunt Gail has approached her recently- apparently Marya (being nine) went and started getting a bit boastful to Katie (who I hadn’t approached yet), and Katie’s feelings were very hurt because she thought she was being snubbed.

*forehead slap*

I should have seen this coming, by the way. It’s my own damn fault. Marya, being the eldest child of the the baby daughter, has been THE prize grandchild. I might have been the first grandchild, but I grew up 2,500 miles away. Katie was the first-born to be raised there, and had the grandparents all to herself for many years… but once Marya arrived, Katie really got shoved out of the picture and didn’t know how to cope with it. It might be stupid or petty, but I can understand Katie’s point of view on this because in many ways, her irritation with it is VERY valid, and has shown up at moments that just are not right (i.e. grandma’s death). But I don’t notice unless I’m around both of them at the same time and something comes up, simply because I’m not living there.

So well, shit. I don’t want Katie’s feelings to be hurt. I didn’t intend them to be hurt. I was just asking Marya her preference because I was trying to get rid of issues and questions before I started formally asking people. And then a house got in the way. I tell Mom that I promise to give Katie a call this week and apologize and explain things to her.

And then on my way over to the World’s Largest Dungeon game on Monday night after work, I realize that I really need to just get my entire side of the wedding party decided and ask them. So there’s no more of these miscommunications. It was already partially decided anyway, so on the way to the game, I formalized my side of the party, allowing for some flexibility depending on what Erich wanted to do.

Mind you– I’m leaving Erich’s completely up to him, with only one request– that my brother be a groomsman. I know that Scott was very hurt when my dad didn’t ask him to be his best man for his 2nd wedding (and they had no extended bridal party– just the maid of honor and best man). For me to snub him would be entirely wrong. It’s not appropriate for Scott to be Erich’s best man, since he doesn’t know him beyond one meeting. But still…

So I mention that to Erich, and he’s putting together his side of the party.

And now I need to make that phone call to Katie, to apologize, explain what REALLY was intended that day, and formally ask her (and call Vicky regarding Marya, Elizabeth, and Clarissa’s roles… so there’s no more confusion there). And given her role, it affects the wedding date– because Katie’s starting college in the fall, and I want to make sure that there aren’t conflicts with her finals in college, since we’re planning a May wedding.

THAT is one of the projects for this Saturday.

Researching wedding officiants, reception halls, etc. is the other.

Oh yeah, and actually picking a date.

One of these days, you know… I might want to get around to that little detail.

Gah.

I won $400 playing Let it Ride last night at Foxwoods.

Gotta love getting a flush when you’re almost out of chips. That made my night.

And we found the PENNY slots at Foxwoods last night– those could get a person into serious trouble.

Got home at 1:30 in the morning, and it’s 7:41… I’m wide awake. Oh, it’s painful. Morning allergies suck.

I’m still sorting through it from last night and will do my own review later, but I will say that Serenity was amazing. Getting autographs from our two special guests, Morena Baccarin (Inara) and Sean Maher (Simon) was very cool. Being able to compliment them in person afterwards was awesome…

And hearing Morena say to Sean “This is so cool!!!” when I was about ten feet away from the table, and the people behind me had also thanked and congratulated them was worth admission in itself last night.

But I’ll cover more on that sometime during the day after I’ve stuck my caffeine IV in my arm and gets me moving again.

Idiot drivers, meet your worst nightmare…

the witness to a car accident who’s on his cell phone.

(make sure you have headphones if you’re in your office. This doesn’t work in IE, but it’s worked on Firefox and Safari).

~ Mel.

I spent a good chunk of the weekend trying to clean out the hordes of paper that comprise my penpalling and swapping stash. It’s truly frightening– it never seems like I swap this heavy, yet here it all is. *sigh* My goal is to get through all of the organized list swaps that I owe this week. Next week I’ll concentrate on my personal letters. And then at the end of next week, I’ll start packing up anything that’s around and getting it out of the way.

I need to figure out where the excess fb’s are going to go, too. It would be nice to get rid of them before we move, but I don’t see that happening.

Anyway… while I was tackling that job, Erich took it upon himself to really scour the living room and start packing a few boxes of DVD’s, extra gaming books, etc. He did an amazing job. He even took it upon himself to use some carpet freshener on the rugs– so now when you walk into the apartment, there’s this soft floral scent. It’s quite nice.

Other than the frienzied sorting and cleaning this weekend,the rest was social. Erich had a couple of friends over to watch the DVD collection of Firefly, in preparations for the sneak screening of Serenity on Thursday (yes, we got tickets– woo hoo!). I went up to the city to attend the last TBS meeting of the year. They installed officers. Life is good.

Work yesterday sucked. I started my week by having our cross-site manager get very pissy with me about something completely out of my control (apparently I’m supposed to be able to miraculously pull items out of backorder from my supply orders). I left her office annoyed, and it developed into a full-blown foul mood by the time I picked Erich up last night. The woman drives me nuts, I swear. She’s very aggressive and immediately puts me on edge. Thankfully she works in our other office most of the time. When she’s up in my area, I never get things done because I’m running like crazy for her. And usually for very demeaning work– running stuff to the fax (even though it’s outside HER door, and halfway down the hall from my cube).

*sigh*

Anyway… since I have to deal with her again today, I don’t want to get worked up again…

Tonight I might be meeting up with Melody, but haven’t heard a confirm yet (Mel?). Then I need to work on some stuff for the JournalCon website.

I’m going insane…

Has been found. Was in plain view in front of my office phone. Needs battery recharge.

End of line.

1) For those who know my cell phone number, don’t bother calling it for the foreseeable future. I’ve misplaced it and can’t find the fucking thing. I hope to recover it by the end of the weekend.

2) I received a friendship book back in the mail today via my father. When I saw it addressed to “Measi Kent” on the envelope, I was intrigued… as I haven’t swapped under that name since high school.

Sure enough, it was an FB that I made for myself when I was 16. It took FOURTEEN YEARS to get home. Impressive, eh? Granted– it hit 20 countries (none being the USA) along that route.

Freaky.

Yesterday morning, I replied to some comments in my last entry regarding flowers. A couple of votes for bright red flowers were expressed– and I commented how they’d be strongly considered for along the sunny side of the house and along the driveway. Possibly some bright red day lillies, tulips, etc. Color is good. Bright colors are very good.

But for the front of the house, where there’s a big space, I need a shrubbery. Something nice. Not too expensive. I’ll attempt the two layer effect with the path going down the middle…

[/Python invocation]

Anyway… since moving to New England, I’ve fallen in love with a particular… shrubbery… which grows amazingly well around here and just looks spectacular – blue hydrangeas. They grow into huge bushes here with huge pom-poms of flowers that are six inches across. Depending on the acidity of the soil, they turn different colors, too. The less acidic, the flowers turn pink. Or even white. The more common variety that’s been grown around New England turn white.

But down on Cape Cod and in Rhode Island, where the soil is sandier, blue ones come out easier. Usually in a shade of lilac, like these:

While I doubt mine would get that many blooms, even a few blooms with those big poms would be striking against the white house.

So getting back to the beginning of my entry… the irony comes up yesterday morning shortly after I reply to my comments. I go grab a cup of coffee in the kitchen, come back to my desk, and see a large paper bag tied with raffia on my chair. From Winston Flowers, which is one of the very posh florists in the area. I open the bag, sift through the tissue paper, and broke into a big smile.

Linda bought me a potted hydrangea. Similar to this, but a single stem. With a big bright blue (true blue– not purple) pom that’s actually bigger than the pot.

She bought it for Secretaries Day (which was yesterday), but also as a congrats on the new house. Really– how could she have known?

Last night I talked to my mom, and mentioned how I hope I can keep this one alive to get it planted outside. Mom thought it was a great idea, and mentioned that she would bring up a potted one — also blue — that she has currently in her Florida room. And then when I get into the house, I can plant both of them. While Linda gave me the one sitting next to me on my desk, I’ll plant it for my grandma.

We’re not in the house, and already I have things that will give me little “thinking of you” moments ready to go.

Is it mid-June yet?

It took forty-five minutes this morning. And I personally only signed one sheet of paper. Erich signed the stack. The flurry of paper moving around the table was amazing.

And then all of a sudden, we were done. We shook hands around the table, and stood there stunned. We bought a house.

That was a bit less than twelve hours ago. It hasn’t sunk in yet. It probably won’t until we’re standing in the doorway, cat carrier in hand.

We spent some time exploring parts of Providence, but by around 2 p.m. both of us were ready to just crash out, exhausted from the emotional jitters. Before leaving Rhode Island, though, we drove by the house… and as we did, I noted to Erich that he’s the owner of that house now.

Scary, isn’t it?

We’re exhausted. We’re scared as hell. But we’re happy. And we can’t wait to get in there.

*does an excited happy dance*

Observation #1:

Regardless of how short-lived it is going to be, seeing a checking account balance with a five digit number is amazing. But I’m already in mourning, because I sense it will never happen again in my lifetime.

Observation #2:

In twenty-four hours, Erich and I will be signing a ton of papers that will bring us into that unknown – and as of only six weeks ago unobtainable – realm known as Home Owners.

Pinch me.

I’ve had an odd yearning lately to sit in a warm, sun-lit room in bare feet and cotton pj’s, letting my fingers roll over white and black ivory keys, meandering through rhythms and pieces I still have burned in memory from childhood… or trying something new.

I miss music. I miss playing music. It’s been seven years since I’ve picked up my clarinet. Even longer in regards to a viola. Piano? I tinkered around a bit during the Christmas From Hell two years back, but otherwise haven’t played since college. While I can still read treble and bass clefs just fine, I honestly don’t know if I’d remember how to read an alto clef.

It’s funny– a few weeks ago, I made some passing reference to getting a piano for the Florida room. Not that we can afford one right now, unless I find one at an estate consignment (which is possible, but will require me to scout for it– getting rid of an old upright piano is a chore). And Erich comments how he didn’t even know I played the piano.

That made me pause for a moment– because it seems so strange to me that the man I share my life with didn’t know that. Even if I haven’t been playing for years, music has been such a strong point of my life since I was in grade school. I guess I just assume (incorrectly, obviously) that everyone I’m close friends with has known this. Friends from grade school blend into high school into college into Boston life post-college into now. Particularly when so many people now are blended from my stages of friendships. The Boston University grads will joke about something, and Erich will get confused– and it takes everyone a few minutes to realize that he didn’t know any of us then, so he has no idea what we’re talking about.

Maybe it’s springtime that’s making me yearn for some “key fumbling.” Part of it is remembering my days of practicing on the piano in my dad’s basement, trying desperately hard not to press too firmly on the keys. I never wanted to let anyone hear my mistakes– especially my brother, who teased constantly. The idea of someone hearing my mistakes terrified me for some reason. Perfectionism to a fault, perhaps?

In any case, I miss it. I want to be able to putter on a Sunday morning with a cup of coffee and the mock-ivory, bouncing the opening riff of Piano Man or rolling through a minuet by Mozart. I hope to get a piano some day. I feel like it will happen someday– perhaps I’m simply seeing memories that aren’t yet set.

It was actually hot outside yesterday– mid to upper 80′s (depending on where you were), and none too comfy in the non-A/C’ed Jeep on the way home. Still, I enjoyed it. Spring exploded by yesterday evening– all of those trees that were just on the verge of popping leaves now have. Which was good, because driving to work yesterday as the thermometer in my Jeep read “75″ but seeing almost completely bare trees was a bit weird. It was weirder around lunch when it was 85 degrees as I hurried back down the Pike from the mall.

It should never be 85 degrees with bare trees. It makes the region look like it was in a forest fire.

Still, it was a nice little hint of summer. Around 10 p.m. last night a cold front literally blew in, dropping the temperature outside down around fifteen degrees in the course of about twenty minutes. It was chilly outside this morning, but everything’s relative– four days ago, mid 50′s would have felt quite nice. After yesterday, it’s frigid.

*sigh*

My allergies are reminding me of yesterday, too. All morning I’ve been sniffly and dealing with some weather-induced hives. My antihistamines aren’t kicking in quite right. I’m hoping that with some regular meds intake, it’ll balance out.

Since it was so warm yesterday, the interest in working past around 4 p.m. waned quickly, and I began surfing the web to look at wedding dresses for the hell of it. I fell in love with a dress I saw and wanted to think about it for a few minutes. So I took a walk to the pop machine. And as I was walking back, I had this nagging urge that I’d seen the dress before, and that something was wrong.

Shit.

I finally realized why, and wanted to confirm my suspicions with a certain other blogger (*cough* WestCoastMel *cough*) who shares my webspace, who’s getting married a month before me.

Really now, what’s the chance of it? With all of the choices of wedding dresses out there? Okay, even technically in the plus-size wedding dress department (which I guarantee to all of the skinny girls is MUCH more limited than yours).

So no… can’t use that one. In my opinion, that falls along the same code of conduct rules as “don’t date the ex of your best friend.”

More looking will comence. I have some ideas. Nothing has called out to me as THE ONE, though. Which is probably a good thing. I can keep looking. Right now I’m thinking along the lines of (to any women for whom this makes sense)… an a-line dress (modified or traditional a-line). Sweetheart cut neckline (I have the boobs to pull it off). Some sort of sleeve– because I do have heavy upper arms. I don’t need a long train, but wouldn’t object to one for the ceremony and pictures, provided that it can be either detached or bundled somehow in the dress.

And I’m leaning ivory over white.

Oh– and for family tradition, I do want to do a mantilla veil. My mother was married in one. I’m hoping, actually, that hers is still around and intact– because it would also fit the “something borrowed” idea. Plus really, it’s the only thing I could borrow from my mom, who weighed a whopping 95 pounds when she was married. (no, really– and it’s disturbing that I’m not too shy of three times my mom’s weight at that point).

Thus ends my wedding dress thoughts of the day.

Warning– annoyed rant (with some resolution) ahead…

Around 4:30 yesterday, I was gathering my things at work… getting ready to go home and enjoy some of the beautiful weather. My phone rang– our buyer’s agent was calling regarding the closing next week.

Apparently the lawyer we’d hired to be there for the closing is going to be out of town next Friday, and apparently it’s okay to move the closing up… so how about Monday?

insert Mel panicking here

continue to panic

Mind you, it’s not that I would mind closing early… except that we’ve had arrangements made with my mother, with our workplaces, with our insuring agent, that everything would be done on Friday. Mom’s wiring the money to me either tomorrow afternoon or Thursday for the closing. If it needed to go to Erich’s account directly, then it becomes a bit of an issue to get the draft of the cashier’s check by Monday, as his bank is not local. This concerns me, because all of the funding for the closing is currently in my mom’s bank account, not ours. AND… my mom’s in Florida, not at home.

Panic rises.

Then there’s the issue of getting time off on Monday. While I know my boss wouldn’t be too bad about it, I can’t exactly ask her– she’s on vacation all week with her kids since Massachusetts schools are on one of their plethora of vacation weeks. If we were to have the closing on Monday, she’ll be getting back to work after a week away and won’t have me there to get through the panic attacks. It’s not a good showing for me.

Erich getting off of work, when he’s already struggled to fix his schedule, is another story. He doesn’t have the leniency that I do.

And then there’s the extreme annoyance at this lawyer. We arranged this last fucking month. Now all of a sudden he’ll be out of town? And he doesn’t bother to call us. Our agent calls us. What the fuck is up with that?

So I’m pissed. And worried. I call Erich, leave a rather upset message, and then head home, hoping that Erich gets my message since it’s almost 5 p.m. and this is an issue that has to be dealt with right away. Since he’s the only one on the mortgage, I’m a bit powerless in all of this. He’s somewhere in transit along the MBTA to get home, and I don’t have my cell phone. Dealing with the typical Massholes on the highway just serves to intensify my mood.

I get home, and Jason’s there to get his mail, switch the phone bill back over to our name (since it had been in his to get his license changed to Mass.) and probably attempt to have purry time with Gus (who he should know by now won’t just sit there and purr for him on command). Erich’s on hold with the phone guys, so I ask him if he got my message. He said no, but he’s talked to our agent, so he already knew what I was asking about. Then he gets pulled back onto the line.

So I’m plunking down in my computer chair, trying to get my breath and composure, venting about the whole situation. And I’m pissed. Really pissed. I feel like we’ve been given a bit of a bait-and-switch with this lawyer, and I’m scared that we could lose the house because right now every cent of the closing money is in my mother’s account. How I’m feeling rushed and have been uneasy about the entire process (read= some remanants of buyers remorse). I’m venting. I’m stressed. I’m scared. Because I don’t want to lose this house.

And rather than be supportive or calming, Jason (unsurprisingly) takes his santimonious self-righteous route, being so incredibly condescending that he’s just fueling me more. How maybe I should have thought about this earlier, etcetera. And I practially spat back at him that there are some things that we couldn’t possibly have realized coming into this. We’re fucking first time buyers– we’re not experts at this, and no offense, but he was overstepping his bounds here, given the fact that he’s never been in this situation.

Oh, but in Jason’s mind, of COURSE he knows what it’s like. Because he’s talked to friends who have bought their first houses. Clearly that is enough (in his mind, anyway), to qualify him to know what it’s like. Therefore he’s a fucking expert on it. Riiight. I called him on being condescending, which he denied (he always does). And I’m even more pissed now than when I walked in the door, because now I’ve got a “who the FUCK does he think he is?” riding around in my head.

Mind you, there’s a reason we’ve been asking our mothers– both of whom are fucking real estate agents themselves, for advice on house matters. Aside from some recommendations for insurance agents in the area and things that are local-related, the hosue matters have gone through our parents, who have professional experience on this. AND, given that they’re our parents (and helping to finance this), we know that we can trust their judgement on this.

Thankfully, Jason scooted out of there quickly. Which was good, because I was shortly going to be telling him to leave. My tolerance of self-important strutting is down to about nil right now– both at work and at home. It was seriously bad timing. I over-reacted, but his behavior definitely was not helping.

Erich called our agent, and apparently Tuesday and Wednesday could work as well for the closing. So on that end, at least, it’s up to Erich. He’s the one with the trickier schedule to deal with. I can work around it a bit at least. It’s going to make things a bit more frustrating with my scheduling here, but I’ll deal.

A call to our mortgage broker this morning solved the money wiring problem– the money can be wired to me, and I can write a gift letter to Erich, as I’m his fiancé. We’ll have gift letters from my parents to me as backup documentation, just in case. My bank is local (and open on Sunday), so if we need to draft the cashier’s check this weekend for a Monday closing, it can be done.

So now it’s Erich’s schedule… and then we’ll see what’s going to happen.

I need a drink. A really big one that will give me a hangover.