Tag-Archive for ◊ musings ◊

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• Friday, January 01st, 2010

Folks looking for a “this episode was awesome” conversation? Come on in. I’m mourning Ten, but I’d like to think of it as one of those wakes where there’s a lot of good stories and laughter among friends to celebrate a life now passed.

and spoilers, oh yes there will be. And measi!squee


(and I apologize for any horrid grammar here… I’m running on a hangover and three hours of sleep, and am getting to “about that point” before I crash).

I adored the episode – and was very relieved that it pulled part one back into some semblance of “oh, okay then” after part one was so weirdly paced.

Wilf on the Millennium Falcon Starbug BIG LAZER GUNS = awesome.

The Master staying true to himself, yet also helping the Doctor = also awesome.

HOLY SHIT, NOT ONLY THE GAUNTLET OF RASSILON… BUT THE BODY OF RASSILON, TOO!
(last week I jokingly turned to Erich and said… I wonder if Timothy Dalton’s playing Rassilon. I seriously had no idea and was shocked to see it true).

Weeping Angels were mentioned – and the two Time Ladies were oddly standing like them. I wonder who the woman was? Ten’s mom? Romana? Clearly someone he knew…

Ten’s cause of death – heartbreaking. I did not expect Wilf to be the one knocking, and gasped when I heard those four thumps. And Ten knew IMMEDIATELY – oh, god that look when he heard it.

Finishing off by doing right by each of his companions in some way – <3. That’s so Ten.

I foresee some ficcing with Jack’s bar scene. I’m going to rewatch that scene in slow motion JUST to see all of the races stuck in that shot. I would not be surprised if a majority of them are in there. And the music killed me.

“His name is Alonzo.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *pop*

Seriously? that bar scene alone was epic fanfic girl heaven. Because of it, all I really could do was smile the rest of the way through the ep. I had a little catch in my throat, but that helped me from meltdown into sobs. I can’t guarantee I won’t cry instead when I watch it again on BBC-America.

I’m very glad that no further companions died off. I’m also glad that Gallifrey appears that it won’t be back permanently. While yeah, it may be cool to have Gallifrey there – I prefer the mystique of it being “lost.”

The bookstore with Verity? Such a beautiful scene and a wonderful little surprise. The fact that she just instantly accepts him for who he is – the family story that’s been passed down and accepted. Perfect. And so heartbreaking when he doesn’t answer her when she asks if he was happy. *sob*

I know it’ll be a mixed opinion – but the scene with Jackie and Rose was pitch perfect to me. Telling Rose that she’s going to have an incredible 2005? To me it just brings everything back full circle… and Ten’s adventures will go on in a blissful loop forever. Just wonderful. I can swing back to my Doctor/Rose ship anytime with that. Just beautiful.

I’m a happy little geek girl, and already the writing thoughts are churning.

And I was surprised – I was really prepared to just break down as Ten regenerated… but all of a sudden, I see Matt Smith’s face, and went “OMG… David’s done!” yet… it was somewhat okay.

Somewhat.

I’m going to miss him, though.

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• Tuesday, December 29th, 2009

*waves to new f-list people* Welcome guys! Nice to meet you all… hopefully we’ll have some great chats via LJ in the future. I’ll toss a new intro post up later this morning once I have some coffee… I don’t think I’ve updated the thing for about three years anyway. :)

Thoughts on the holidays will probably be a project this afternoon. I have a bunch of things on my mind, but I’m not yet awake enough for them.

I’m at work this morning – it’s dead quiet here, both at our office and in downtown Boston in general. Sometimes I wonder why companies are open at all during this mini-week between Christmas and New Years. Only half of the people go to work – and let’s be honest, it’s because they have to. It’s bitter cold outside, there’s really not a lot of work to do (when the “I’ll make myself look busy” plans clear through on the first day of four, there’s a problem)… ugh, I’m just… bored.

If I weren’t weirded out by the idea, I’d scribble fanfic at my desk. Maybe I’ll pull a notebook and do that longhand. I dunno.

But two more days of it… *groan*

I started skimming my friends list this morning, and I’m wondering what’s up. Out of the first 20 friends posts? Eight were “I’m doing a friends cut” thing. Instinctively, I replied to a couple, and got a nasty feeling in my stomach. I decided not to read anymore at that point. Rather than deal wtih what essentially are roll call posts, I think I’ll just state this: If you decide to cut me from your flist, yes, I’ll be a bit bummed about it. But it’s your journal and your decision regarding who you want to read. I’m not going to grovel to stay on someone’s friends list, though.

Anyway.

Some quick non-spoilery thoughts on the recent Doctor Who episode…

I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. I did laugh at times. I gasped a couple times. But mostly I just feel “meh” about it. I felt the pacing was odd. I felt like there’s a lot of stuff thrown into the story that as of now makes no sense. BUT… it’s the first of a two-parter, and there’s lots of extra time in the second part of this thing, so hopefully it all comes together. So mostly I’m just reserving judgment until I see the conclusion of it this weekend.

Can I say, though – that BBC-A is awesome? Not only are they airing them the day after they broadcast in the UK, but they’re airing the episodes uncut on the first broadcast and just expanding the air time to fit our stupid American commercial blocks.

Even better? Erich and I now have BBC-A in HD. Which is glorious.

I seriously hope this quick turnaround continues with the new episodes for series 5. :)

And oh my god… a project at work. I’m shocked and stunned.

So, to help me once I’m bored again… toss me some fic prompts and I’ll tinker with them. I’m open to Doctor Who, Torchwood, X-Files… hell, I might even attempt some West Wing or Star Trek (TNG or DS9). Maybe I’ll have some drabbles or fic later this week, if you don’t mind unbetaed drafts.

:)

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• Sunday, September 06th, 2009

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• Wednesday, July 08th, 2009

After a long and interesting little conversation with wendymr last night, I started musing about writing a bit. And this probably will make no sense to anyone but me, but meh – it’s a Real Blog Entry(tm) about something on my mind.

I mentioned to her, and I think I’ve mentioned it here and there that the big issue with wiggiemomsi‘s fic for Support Stacie is my pacing. After doing a draft, I wondered what the point of the whole thing was, given that it apparently could be solved and wrapped up so easily.

So now I’m working on stretching it out, adding a bit more suspense, and just some… oomph… into it. That, of course, has resulted in snipping some bits, altering others, etc. It’s amazing how organic the writing process is. Kind of corny, perhaps, but it’s much like the tomatoes I have growing on my patio – little twists and turns, bending around obstacles, rushing forward when there’s freedom.

It’s getting there, and while I’m irritated with myself about how long it’s taking, I’m also much happier with where it’s going. Better to turn out something I’m pleased with than rush it and not be happy with the result, IMHO. Unlike those X-File fics from years past that I tend to wince at when I reread, I’d like to have a few years where I can be proud of what I’ve written here.

The difficulty is avoiding writing total cliched crap. I realize that it’s a relative term, and that to the majority of fic readers out there my writing is still crap, whether due to topic or style or dialogue or whatever. I’ll be honest – the fear of failure is paralyzing sometimes. And not that cliched fic doesn’t have it’s place. I enjoy quite a bit of it, and I’ll admit to occasionally feeling the desire to just sink into it myself because (again, in theory, but not necessarily practice) it’s familiar.

BUT… I’m also of the mindset that I want to try to find new avenues to write about, where I’ve found an absence of fic. No idea is truly new, of course, but I’ll try my best to find a way to look at something fresh if I’m able.

Again – fear of failure. I has it.

So in conclusion, I suppose – Wiggie’s fic is a tomato plant, occasionally stunted by fear.

Makes sense, right?

;)

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• Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

Not sure which they are… but going under a cut, for obvious reasons:

more…

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• Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

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• Wednesday, December 31st, 2008

Since I have the time, I guess I’ll do one of these entries after all. Won’t be a month-by-month play as I’ve done in years past because honestly there’s a whole lot of blurring this year. But still, I think I can give a fair assessment of the year.

I will say honestly that my 2008 was decent. Some big ups and downs, but I am definitely in a better place now than I was a year ago. I’m happy, I’m employed, my finances are okay, and I’m both loved and love someone.

Highlight of the Year

By far, this is our trip to the UK. From the sheer fact that I was in another country, seeing another culture, sharing it with my husband, and just having a blast. Seeing David Tennant and Patrick Stewart at the RSC may have been the catalyst to book the vacation, but in no way was the only high point of that trip. We had an absolute blast on our honeymoon. No regrets whatsoever (aside from perhaps better shoes to walk in), and I know both of us have commented several times that we miss places we went to over there. It’s so strange that a place we only visited for a brief two weeks is already so dear to our hearts.

I will go back. I know I will.

Low Point of the Year

For me personally, it was throwing my back out in May, and the weeks of severe pain and fear (that it wouldn’t heal by our honeymoon) that followed. I have never felt such agony before, nor have I ever felt so humiliated as I did those six weeks of walking horrifically slowly between South Station and my office, having to sit down at least twice in that short four block span. It’s bad enough to have people glare at you for being obese (and they do). It’s even worse when they give you a sneer because you’re both obese and having to sit down because you’re physically unable to walk down the street normally – but of course don’t look like there’s anything wrong with you. Yay.

Reconnections

I’ve connected up with a lot of old classmates and marching band/sorority buddies via Facebook. It’s funny when you catch up with someone you went to elementary school with, who you haven’t talked with for fifteen years. I’m still working on reconnecting with my dad. That will probably continue to develop slowly – and carefully.

De-connections

Offline friends? None this year.

Online, I had to make some hard choices earlier this year. A fear to post my unpopular opinion regarding Who led to a reinforcement of why I was afraid to post opinions when I was semi-publically flogged in a journal entry by someone else. More b.s. followed, and I called it quits. Not worth it, and I’ve become much more careful about who I’m welcoming into my circle of friends these days, sad but true. On occasion, I doubt – did I do the right thing? Occasionally, I see their comments in other entries, but I don’t dare respond to any of them. I do miss their more enjoyable entries. But overall, I’m glad the connections are gone. I’ve learned to love LJ again, and the cons of those connections were far larger than the pros. The hypocrisy was just stupid.

Health

Is so-so. My thirties are catching up to me. On deck for 2009 is to get to the doctor for my blood pressure, which is sitting on the lower level for hypertension. My back is still twingy. I’m far too heavy, and need to start working on attempting to lose weight… again.

But I’m able to get up and get to work and get through most days feeling at least okay. So really, I’m fine.

Wealth

We’re doing okay. Erich’s Mom’s estate was settled this year. We sold his grandfather’s house, with much nailbiting before it closed. The house in Maine was refinanced to help Erich and his uncle be protected from his dad’s impending bankruptcy filing.

The house sale helped Erich whittle down his credit cards. More careful spending has helped me with mine.

So I think we’re in far better shape this year. I am worried about the economy, but at least I think both Erich and I have done what we can do short-term to protect ourselves.

Wisdom

Heh… i can has?

I dunno. I’ve learned some things. I’ve forgotten others. What makes people wise?

Faith

I have come to terms with the fact that connections are not what I thought they were. I am sad at the loss of my connection to Her, but at the same time – I don’t feel the desire to go through the pain involved to reconnect, based on my experiences during my Walkabout.

So I move on. And I have focused on things in my control, and within a scope that I feel able to do. I would say I’m spiritual at this point, but religious? Not at present. I have not sat ritual for about a year now. And I don’t regret going against what I know I was “supposed” to do during Walkabout this year.

I continue to wander. And I’ll find positives in my wandering, I suppose. I hope.

Do I still believe in Her? Yes. But I know She does not in me. It hurts, but it is what it is.

Happiness

Definitely happy, and grasping onto that happiness as tightly as I can. I’ve had far too many years where I haven’t been. I know when to treasure it.

Hopes for 2009

I don’t make any resolutions because I know I will break them. But hopes, I will state.

I hope to finally get some serious work done on our house – whether peeling wallpaper and painting, or doing something with the outside of the house, or beginning the window replacement project… something to start working on our house. We’ve had excuses the past couple years – first the wedding, then saving all money for the honeymoon.

Now, it’s time to get to work and make this house ours. And I seriously can’t wait.

I hope to do some satisfying writing this year – whether fanfic or original fiction or blogging or whatever… I want to write. I want to enjoy writing. And I want to complete some writing.

I hope to get back to stitching, and to complete at least one of my bigger projects. Ivanna’s Wedding Sampler, perhaps? Getting it to her by her 4th anniversary might be a good plan. *sigh*

I hope to find a couple of little Mom ‘n Pop food places here in RI – those places you love going to on the weekends that are nice and cozy.

And I hope to continue to be surrounded by family and good friends. Because they really are what makes life enjoyable.

And I am blessed.

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• Monday, December 15th, 2008

Posting both fics last night has made me feel a heck of a lot better today. They were big deadlines looming that I absolutely wanted to do on time, and I did… so yay! It’s a little weird – and daunting – to have your husband beta things. Particularly smut fic. I don’t know , it’s like there’s a weird line there – fanfic smut should not be shared across the marital relationship.

Meh, I’ll get over it. :) And he did just want I asked him – check to make sure my verb tense is okay, and if anything jars, give me a heads up so I can rework.

(He’s a much faster beta than I am, by the way. I realize now that I do, in fact, suck.)

Also got to the post office this morning – sent off a couple small packages, bought a crapload of stamps. My first batch of cards is going into the collection box over my lunch hour. :) I have a few family and friend cards left to write, but for the most part I’m in good shape to get everything in the mail with plenty of time, I think.

So it’s now down to getting some promised beta work done, start drafting my Support Stacie fic, and just getting some other cleaning projects done around the house.

Hard to believe it’s only a week until Yule and a few days extra until Christmas. Where the hell did this year go? And why is it December and feeling like early May? (Yes, I know you guys in the Midwest are icicles right now… ugh! Stay warm!)

Random question – I stopped posting my journal entries from the UK trip due to personal craziness, but I’m going to have some extra time again now that the chaos of the holidays are over. Is it something that’s now a “old news, move on” thing, or is there anyone who wants them posted?

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• Wednesday, December 03rd, 2008

Dear fellow MBTA travelers who were trapped on the 7:35 Providence train:

I realize that when we get in an hour late due to yet another engine breakdown, I totally understand the attitude of “screw it, I’m already late” and you decide to take your dear sweet time.

HOWEVER… morning trains generally involve this glorious invention called coffee to get the body moving. And when the train has been forced to sit dead on the tracks for an hour, that coffee generally has had time to work through the human system, and the bladder goes into distress whilst waiting to get to a place guaranteed to have an accessible bathroom – which sadly is NOT Back Bay station, even though it’s the first stop past the breakdown. As you all know – there may or may not be a bathroom on the morning train. AND, even if there is one – it’s impossible to know which car it’s in, nor if you will even be able to access it due to people having to stand in the aisles because the train is so full.

So really – get off the phone, stop walking at the same speed the train-pushing-a-train crawled along the tracks for 40 minutes from Hyde Park, and MOVE YOUR ASS into the station, so the horde of women driven to madness due to needing to pee can get past you to go to the scary bathroom they’d otherwise never want to use. Short urethras and all that make for some desperation when you’ve thought about nothing but having to pee and how to prevent yourself from having an accident for over an hour.

Thank you.

(why no… um… I have no personal experience with this issue this morning… why do you ask?)

——

Writing update:

Draft for hearts_in_time – done. Although if I have time, I may further tinker with it. Needs beta work.

Draft for oh_she_knows – mostly done… although smut bunnies decided to make a housecall. So currently, the Doctor is having a glorious time kissing Rose. My posting window’s the 11-15th, so I’m in good shape there. Needs beta work.

Support Stacie auction – waiting my instructions from wiggiemomsi *waves since she’s now on my friends list). :) I’m plotting with wendymr regarding our joint win for dameruth. And I think I’ve decided what I’d like to request from clevermonikerr. Maybe, hopefully… *strokes chin thoughtfully*

And I have so many weird broken draft attempts for the first two that I just couldn’t get moving in the timeframe I had available. Hmm….

Overall, I do feel good right now. Scary – when do I ever feel good in regards to writing deadlines?

—–

It’s quite cold out there today, and the sea is the prettiest shade of bright blue right now. Not a cloud in the sky. Absolutely lovely.

—–

It’s clearly winter because I’m waking up with somewhere between 2-4 cats on the bed every morning.

—–

Apparently Erich managed to finally get Hoodsie to purr last night. Given that I have yet to hear this personally, I still disbelieve. But it’ll be a wonderful breakthrough if this cat purrs. We do get chuffs from him, and he does breathe very heavy at times when you pet him, so he’s been *close* to purring… but not quite.

We’ll see.

Traumatized cat with major abandonment issues may be headed for a big breakthrough sign of being domesticated again. :)

—–

OK… need to work now.

- Mel.

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• Tuesday, December 02nd, 2008

Any Sisters who know the date of 1st Degree, could you let me know? I’m figuring it’s fairly soon, unless they’re waiting until next term to kick off MC period.

On a similar note… I got a preliminary email regarding the 25th Anniversary event, but there weren’t any details about what’s going on at said event, and ticket prices go up immediately after the new year. *sigh* I’d hope we’d learn what’s going on before that price increase. Maybe it’s just me, but while yes, I do plan on going… I’d kind of like to know what the money’s going toward. Especially since there will be a 25% ticket price increase in January. I don’t mind a surprise during the event, but to keep it completely in the dark just doesn’t sit right with me.

Maybe it’s just me. *shrug*

My fanfic writing is worth $65, according to the winning bid for the Support Stacie auction, which was won by wiggiemomsi. I have to admit that I’m a bit intimidated by it all, but I’m excited to get started… and I hope she’s pleased by the result. Meanwhile I have dameruth and clevermonikerr under my control (*insert evil grin here*). No, seriously… I’ll be kind. :)

Okay… almost to work. More later.

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• Monday, May 05th, 2008

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• Friday, March 21st, 2008

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• Tuesday, March 04th, 2008

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• Saturday, February 23rd, 2008

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• Friday, February 22nd, 2008

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